More Easter Pics

We had a ton of fun this Easter. We stayed at the White Sands campground down at the Sand Dunes. We also celebrated Austins birthday down there.

Adoption drama

Oh my goodness adoption is a VERY long, VERY hard road. You would think adopting an older child in the foster care system would be much easier then adopting internationally, adopting a baby, or even giving birth. You would be dead wrong.
After getting out hearts set on adopting a little boy we just don't seem to be able to give up on the process. I asked Jeremy the other day how he felt about it, how often he thought about it and where his mind-set was concerning adopting. He looked at me and said "I just feel that something is missing, I don't feel we are complete." "We are either adopting another child, or we are having one naturally."
Well that decided that for me, if he feels that strongly, then we will do what it takes.
We were still considering adopting from Ukraine, but our adoption agency was only able to come up with two kids, one that is emotionally and educationally okay, but nothing clicked with him, and I just don't see a fit.
The other one, seems like a cute boy, and my heart goes out to him, but he was diagnosed with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, has a learning disability. They think his learning disability is because of his mildly crossed eyes and that glasses and eye therapy may help improve that.
I don't think I am prepared to take that one, along with the language barriers and other country issues.
So now we are looking at adopting domestically.
In order to adopt an older child domestically they have to be in state custody. We have to complete a brand new home study, (our international one isn't good enough?) There is only one agency in all of Utah that is approved to do foster care adoptions (can we say "monopoly") and there is only one group that can approve you for a foster child to come into your home. This one group requires 32 hours of on site in classroom hours. These classes are only provided Tuesday and Thursdays from 5:30-9:30 so flexibility in schedule is not allowed. This also means the kids I currently have get to go without parents during these times (not fair to them). But then to top it off, that is only good for six months. So hope you get matched up quickly.
In international adoptions you don't have to do any of that. In baby adoptions you don't have to do any of that.
I understand that older foster children come with more baggage and they want you to be fully prepared for the kids sake, but not having any flexibility in the training and only one agency in Utah is ridiculous. Oh and I get to pay for the training, the new home study and all of that. Yippee...
What a joke.

California

We went to California this past weekend and had a great time seeing family. We saw Jeremy's dad on the way down and got to see their new home in St. George. Then we continued on the next day to Amy and Kerry's. While we were there we went to see the Queen Mary and the Russian Submarine they have docked there, called the Scorpion. We had a great time laughing and spending time with family. The kids swam and swam and swam. Unfortunately the camera went dead after only a few pictures of the trip were taken. (poor planning on my part).

Crazy Day at School

Trinity got to dress up Crazy the first of February for school. At first she just looked a little homeless, so I figured if we were going to do this we were going to do it such that you knew it was done on purpose.

She loved it and was so excited. We took a few pics, but this was my favorite.

Zhenia is gone

Wednesday the 10th we received a phone call from our adoption agency. They called to tell us that a Ukrainian Family had adopted Zhenia's half brothers. In the process they found out about Zhenia and came and adopted him as well. Zhenia is gone. He has a family now and while we thought it was going to be ours that apparently was not meant to be. Apparently he told them no at first, that he had a family in America. But one way or another they convinced him and he eventually agreed to go and live with them.

Right now our hearts are breaking. We thought for sure that Zhenia was meant to be ours. We knew we ran the risk that a Ukrainian family could come and adopt him while we were in the process, but we thought the odds were fairly low, and with us being just two months away we thought that even more. We truly believed he was ours and now we are left to wonder and hurt, because he never will be.

I have his pictures, his clothes, his sweet little voice on my phone calling me Mom and telling me he loves me. But I will never have him. I can't begin to tell you the emotions running through us right now. I lost a little piece of my heart and I can't do anything about it.

We have invested a lot of time, money and emotions in this process and I don't know what we will do now. We are at a loss.

Thank you for all of your love and support as we went through this process.

Zhenia's Birthday

I wish I could post on here that I called Zhenia and wished him a happy birthday. But I called and called this morning and the call never went through. I practiced and practiced so I would say it just right ( S Dnem Rozhdeniya) but I never got to say it. We sent him a birthday/Easter present but I doubt he will receive it any time soon. Last time I talked to him he sounded bummed like he was giving up hope. I kept telling him I miss him and I want to see him, but all he would say is uh huh. When I told him we would come soon, he said "no". I am sure it has to be hard for him to wait and not know. I call as often as I can, but for a kid I am sure that isn't enough. We were really disappointed we couldn't tell him happy birthday and let him know we were thinking about him. Hopefully this process picks up and we can go get him and assure him in person he is coming home with us.